6 Random Facts About Me Courtesy Of Ms Baroque

Ms Baroque! Wot in the hell is this?

Link to the person that tagged you – i.e. me.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about yourself in a blog post.
Tag six people of your own.
Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the tagger know your entry is up.

1. You don’t know me very well, because if you did, you’d know that I cannot follow directions to save my life. Usually, I have a go, give up and ask PC Bitseach to sort it out. Ask me to set up the Sky Box or assemble Ikea. Utterly hopeless.

2. I went to high school where they filmed, “Election“. It’s funny, because it’s true.

3. Prior to that, I attended Kubasaki High School

4. I never liked Oasis in the 90s; I preferred Blur. I’m a decade behind the times generally.

5. I watch Seinfeld DVDs when I can’t sleep. “The Cartoon” and “The Strongbox” are my favourites. I am George Costanza.

6. I’ve got a postcard on my fridge which reads, “La paciencia todo lo alcanza”.

The Novel Revisited

If only it were three years!

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I’m still recovering. I’ll let Emma explain.

I Remember

I remember a friend calling me at work to say that a plane had just hit a building in New York and that I should look at the BBC website.

I remember going to lunch and seeing shots of the smoking buildings on the TV in the corner of the cafe. I remember a British woman saying that the Americans had it coming. I remember her shutting up when I placed my order.

I remember Americans genuinely asking, “Why do they hate us?”; and I remember the photo of the Palestinian kids cheering and not giving a shit.

I remember reading about Alan Beaven in Graya, how he was the kind of guy that wasn’t afraid of rolling up his sleeves or getting his hands dirty, how he was one of the passengers that made it to the cockpit trying to take their plane back, and how I felt proud to be a member of his Inn.

I remember a classmate explaining “Loose Change” to his friends as if it were plausible.  I remember my friends wondering how I kept my mouth shut.

I remember the lady in the dust and hope she’s ok.

Swimming

Swimming in London is shit. Sorry, but why the fuck would anyone want to swim in the piss left behind all those unwashed school-children?

I first learned to swim in Florida. I’m sure we washed.

I never got brilliant at swimming. I can’t do the “crawl” properly or anything like that but at boot-camp I was signed-off as not being a liability to others and went on to being able to rescue someone should my ship sink. We also learned how to jump off a very high diving board. I think it might have been 20 feet. They taught us how to take off our dungarees and use them as floatation devices should we really be fucked.

I do miss swimming. My gym doesn’t have a pool. But the best swimming isn’t in pools anyways. You gotta go to the beach.

I did a lot of swimming at Laguna Beach. Proper.  I like to boogie board. It’s surfing for people can’t stand up on a surf board. You catch a wave and ride it in, over and over. You can’t be having little arguments in your head with other people or be worrying about your future; it’s the repetition of the breathing , strokes and waves – and the faint sounds of kids screaming and laughing.

I went swimming in Haringey once. It was supposed to be “women only”. Sure as shit, there were loads of school-kids. I asked the Stalinista behind the desk what the deal was and she told me, “It’s a woman’s right to bring her kids”.

For fuck’s sakes, it ruins the whole point.