Marcel, You Take My Breath Away (Get Stuffed, Nandos)

Today’s groupthink award goes to Marcel Khan, MD of Nandos Stoke Newington. Lucky Marcel was unwittingly nominated by his assistant manager, Aaron for the following: -

In the face of resident criticism and Hackney Council enquiries regarding early morning noise nuisance, Aaron informs us that Marcel has taken decisive action: He’s creating a space within the curtilage of Nandos to house his bins.

And, wait for it, at what time do you think Marcel has instructed his builders to create that space? 3 am. Yes, 3 am. Who knew builders worked at 3 am?

So to alleviate middle of the night noise nuisance, Nandos are creating further middle of the night noise nuisance.

“Sorry love, it’s out of my hands”.

“Any goodwill gesture you’d like to make to your residential neighbours” (Some all-you-can-drink coke? An acknowledgement that your residential neighbours are losing sleep? An apology?)

“No”.

Let’s hope, Marcel, this is the end of it

Below is a lightly redacted copy of an email received today:

Dear Kris

Re.Commercial Noise from Nandos, 139, Church Street, Stoke Newington, London N16

Thank you for you complaint concerning the above.

This unit has contacted the Manager at Nandos and he has informed this unit that he has now changed his waste collection over to the London Borough of Hackney waste collection service.

This means there will be two collection times as follws: On a Friday between 9.30 am – 10.00 am or on a Friday between 9.30 – 10.00pm.

The manager of Nandos has also informed this unit that he has moved the bottle bins inside the premises.

If you are disturbed again regarding the above matter please do not hesitate to contact us on 020 8356 4455.

Your Sincerely

(Pollution Control Officer)

Let’s hope Marcel Khan’s (Managing Director of Nandos Stoke Newington) indication that he is no longer employing the private 4am bin-men is with immediate effect and that he intends on keeping his word to Pollution Control.

For people unfamiliar with the position in law, it is helpfully spelled out here.

I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass

Especially at 4 frickin’ 30 in the morning – this morning.

Cheers, Nandos!

Nandos: Your New Anti-Social Neighbours

I’ve fucking had it with Nandos.

Our caring sharing friends have a bad habit of having their private bin men showing up at 04:44 (that’s in the morning, folks) waking the neighbours and the dead crashing the evening before’s empty bottles into the back of their bin lorry.

Because it’s becoming a bit of habit, and because of Hackney Council’s non-acknowledgement of my complaints, I threw on some clothes and shoes and thought I’d investigate:

[04:44am: Sound of dumpsters of bottles crashing into a bin lorry]

“Hey! Woah! [trying to get one of the "operatives" attention over the noise]
What do you think you’re doing?”

“Listen, darlin’ I don’t come to your house being rude, so don’t come over here being rude to me”.

My brain’s not functioning. It’s the combination of just waking up and the sheer stupidity and brass neck of what I’ve just heard.

“What time is it?”, I ask.

I’m being looked at like I’m nuts.

“What TIME is it”? I offer, “I’ll tell you what time it is, IT’S 5 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING”!

“We’re bin men, love, we start early”.

Given that PC Bitseach has already written to complain to Nando’s direct, they can shove their “community values” bullshit right up their collective arses.

As for our chums at Hackney Council’s Pollution Control Team? Don’t make me laugh! Let’s just say I’m awaiting a response to my written complaints from June.

Fuckers.

Power to the People

It appears that the Boycott Nandos people are mounting their last stand against Richard Midda. Their objective is to block Nando’s application for an alcohol licence. Given the number of pubs and licenced restaurants on Church Street already, all I have to say is, “good luck with that”.

My question is: What do you really hope to achieve? The Vortex is gone and not coming back. Richard Midda isn’t obliged to rent the premises out to your “business co-operative” or anyone of your choosing. Your victory, if any, will be pyrrhic. If not Nandos, it will be another big hitter who can afford Midda’s rent. Simple as that.

Sorry.

Spring Snow On The TS Stoke

Click on the above to see some Stoke Newington Easter snow. It also is a reminder that the TS Stoke on Church Street used to be home to the Stoke Newington Sea Cadets.

In one of their top-ten idiotic moves, the friend of children and “the people”, Jules & Co’s Hackney Labour pulled the rug out from under the cadets and tried to sell the TS Stoke to developers in 2005.

The cadets moved to Islington. And the TS Stoke? It sits abandoned and presumably still owned by Hackney Council.

Midda’s Chickens Part Deux

Click on the above and feel the pain of someone a bit late to the party.

Midda’s Chickens

Word on the street is that Pearl’s Place is going to be home of Church Street’s first chain, Nandos.

Discuss.

Focus on Stoke Newington

Wanna know more about our beloved home? Click here for the Times Online Focus on Stoke Newington.

Pearl’s Palace?

Not Pearl’s Palace , it’s Pearl’s Place.

Any offers on what it will be?

Why do I get the feeling we don’t want to know.

Maybe a bowling alley?